


sappho's musings

by theamazingkrypto



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Additional Tags in Author's Note, F/F, Fire Emblem Femslash Week, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:03:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7914328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamazingkrypto/pseuds/theamazingkrypto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My submissions for the Fire Emblem Femslash Week!</p><p>Day Two: Panne/Robin - Endings<br/>Day Three: Beruka/Camilla/Selena - Family</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Panne/Robin, Endings

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is (probably) the only one the Major Character Death warning applies to.

_What is your perfect ending?_

Someone had asked her this four years ago. She said what she had always wanted: Herself, surrounded by Taguel, and a distinct absence in humans. _That applies to right now,_  she'd snarled, and the white-haired human had been quick to move out of her way.

But if someone were to ask her now - flanked her two sons and a unmoving tombstone in front of her - she would say what she's wished for since the sky fell and a god turned to dust: _I just want my human back,_ she sobs, but the white-haired human couldn't make her wishes come true.


	2. Beruka/Camilla/Selena - Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camilla had known guilt. Selena had known absence. Beruka had known lack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for graphic depictions of blood and murder, and, um, emotional manipulation? Just plain manipulation? Abuse? Not sure where it would fall on the spectrum, so let's just say Camilla's mom wasn't a good person.

Camilla had known guilt.

Liquid guilt, hot and sticky on her hands, under her fingernails, running along the lines of her hands like little red rivers. The blood of her blood; her sisters and her brothers. Even if the blood washed away, she would never cleanse herself of the guilt.

Her mother had told her it was for the best. _One day you’ll be queen_ , she’d say, bloodied hands tucking Camilla’s hair behind her ear. Camilla did not see the picture her mother painted, but she listened, because she was a good daughter, and that’s what good daughters do.

(But when she told of her plan to kill Xander - It was almost too easy, finding the gap in her mother’s ribs with the tip of her knife. That’s what you get for teaching your child to kill, she had thought, equal parts mirth and bitterness.

It was the first time she’d enjoyed a kill.)

She supposed that’s why she strived so hard to keep whatever was left of her family together. Xander knew of what she’d done, but she knew of his doings, too; she could tell Leo had inklings, though never asked about it; Elise and Corrin were clean slates. She didn’t want any of them see her that way.

She didn’t want to see _herself_ that way.

* * *

Selena had known absence.

At first, it started out great. _They_ started out great. They were the perfect family; herself, her mother, her father. They ate dinner together and her parents played with her all the time and they told her fantastical of war and heroes, peace and kings.

Then the world ended. They didn’t have time for her then; always off on some mission or another. She spent a lot of time passed between friends’ of her parents - and their children got dropped off at her house when her parents were home.

Her dad died on their front porch, her mother in some far-off land, and suddenly none of them had homes anymore. Not many did, and they were scared. The Shepards were dead. They had no protectors. The lot of them had no choice but to take up their parents’ roles and fend off the Risen.

(A little orphan girl ran up to her with a big smile, a hug, and a drawing made especially for her after Selena had single-handedly defended the girl’s caravan from Risen, and she that was the first time she felt like she was her own person, doing her own good.

A day later she had to drive her sword through Cynthia’s Risen mother and wondered if she could even protect this world, when it’s greatest heroes had already been defeated.)

She had known all of them since they were children, and was even friends with a few, but it took an apocalypse for them to start feeling like family, and apparently it took an apocalypse to keep them together. After the smoke cleared and the years-long adrenaline rush faded, the stitches that kept their little ragtag family together started to rip.

They all had to recover from what had happened. They needed to find the selves they were without the fighting. She set off to do the same, but ended up taking up a sword again.

After all, fighting was all she was good at.

* * *

Beruka had known lack. Of what? She hadn't been sure. She knew not of what she missed, but still missed it. It was like...a hole in her chest, but she’d never had the patch of flesh that was supposed to go there in the first place.

When she was fifteen, she received a contract to kill a rich noble in Cheve. She spent six days staking out the mansion, watching, waiting, observing. She knew his routine inside and out; he went to work at six in the morning, came home around the same time in the evening. He always made sure that he gave his husband a kiss when he came back, and that he wasn’t late for dinner. He put his children (two twin boys and a girl) to bed each night before joining his husband in theirs.

On the sixth day, she realized what she was missing: Family. This family was a whole, real family. They spent time together happily and smiled at each other and looked...comfortable, even surrounded by four other people. They were inseparable.

(She killed the man in his sleep. His husband screamed when he woke up in the morning. She stayed long enough to watch the family cry over their loss, and wondered fleetingly if anyone would ever care enough about her to do the same when she died.

She never thought about it again.)

She had a man she called “Father” and other children she shared a house with, yes, but her father did not kiss her or hug her or talk to her like these fathers had, and she and her “siblings” did not play together like these siblings did. She found that the hole in her chest ached even more with the knowledge. She knew what she was missing now.

She pushed the feeling as far down as she could and set her focus on the next mission, and the next, and the next, and the hundreds of others that came after.

Until she came under the employment of one of her targets, and her chest ached in a way that was the same, but so different.

* * *

The first time they’d broached the subject of children - none of them would ever admit it, but they were all scared out of their wits. Sure, Selena tried her best to be a role model for little orphans back in the future, and Camilla had practically raised Corrin, Leo, and Elise, but Selena hadn’t known what sure was doing, and Camilla knew just how many times she messed up. And Beruka...She'd never had a proper example of what a parent _should_ be.

Having a child wouldn’t fix everything - it wouldn’t give Beruka the parents she deserved and it wouldn’t make up for all the years Selena spent alone and it wouldn’t bring Camilla’s siblings back. But the first time they opened their home to a child…

...They knew _family_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be great moms fyi. No doubt about it. I can personally vouch for Beruka, as she is the BEST mom to Kana.

**Author's Note:**

> I married Panne once and sacrificed myself to stop Grima and I felt bad. I wonder how long your family and friends mourn you before Chrom and Lissa find you.
> 
> Reviews and kudos would be awesome!


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